Mistakes

We all make them.
And I have made some really big ones. You know the ones that still make you blush and your stomach turn over no matter how much time has passed? And then there are some that we forget about almost as soon as have made them, or we are able to look back and laugh at how silly we were.
Recently, I have felt like this blog was a mistake. I made it several weeks ago, all excited about all the things I was going to write, the brilliance, the insight, the wisdom..... The blank page is very daunting. Suddenly, I didn't feel brilliant, or wise or particularly insightful. So, I haven't written anything. At all. And this blank blog has been taunting my ability as a writer (for a Creative Writing major about to graduate from college in a few short months, this is a serious issue of self-confidence!)
But last night at 12:30, it hit me. And as I typed notes into that bright, little screen on my iPod I realized that if I was going to write this blog, then it would fail. Miserably. Quickly. Painfully. However, if Jesus were to write it through me, then it could be beautiful. But it could also be messy, and a little clumsy, and extremely vulnerable. And that's down right frightening. But its also me.I am a little messy, I certainly don't have everything together, and I am pretty clumsy. Vulnerability is a big, scary word for me, but if I want to be real and honest, then that is what its going to take. To truly be perfectly imperfect me, then I am going to have to be real with myself, real with Jesus and even real with you. Real about my faults, real about what I am learning and who I want to be, and real about... my mistakes.
Mistakes, we all make them. But if there is one thing I have learned, and one thing I hope that you, friend, would get out of this, is that making mistakes does not make me one. You are not a mistake. Your value is immeasurable and your flaws are what keep you humble.And humility is beautiful. You are incredibly precious, and I hope that truth is something that will always be at the center of this blog. 
I can't promise that this blog will be consistent, I can't promise that it will always be well written, I can't promise I'll be funny, or witty or always particularly insightful. But I will be real, I will be honest, and I will be vulnerable. I am also hoping to challenge, encourage and inspire... but that'll be up to Jesus.
 not the imperfect me.