God does not make mistakes.Do I actually believe that? That all the pain and suffering in the world wasn’t a mistake? Wouldn’t it be better if it was?
What about children born with disabilities? Malformed, distorted, or even just premature… it doesn’t sound like “fearfully and wonderfully made” does it?
What about someone “born in the wrong body”…. Is that a mistake? Did God just accidentally hit the wrong switch, or forget to match the outside with the inside? Accidentally put a female mind in a male body, and left them to fix the mistake with unfulfilling surgeries and awkward relationships? Do we have a right to change that decision, treat it as a medical malformation, or is there something more important behind it?
“Male and female He created them.” Is there something else in between? The ability to chose and change according to our own will. Is there a reason for the distinction of the sexes or was it just some flippant decision of the Man Upstairs?
Is gender a prison, or a decision?
I made a friend this week who used to be a woman. He is a man now; although not legally, or even physically, but for all intensive purposes he is male. If you passed him the on the street, you wouldn’t even give him a second glance, unless of course it was to check him out as he walked away. He says he always remembers that something on his insides did not match his outsides, and if you were to ask him when he actually realized he was transgender, he would fire back, “Well, when did you know you were straight?”
Why is being gay a decision, a realization, while being straight is a normality?
“I don’t think you should love someone, or even be attracted to them, based on what’s between their legs.” He calls it poly-amorous; able to love anyone and everyone.
I am taken aback by the selflessness of this man. He looks at every opportunity as a way that he can make the people around him most comfortable, even complete strangers and even to his own pain. Life is uncomfortable when you appear to be a different gender than you are. When it is illegal to use the Men’s restroom, but your outward appearance makes you an instant threat in the Women’s.
And yet I struggle with the seeming contradictions in his life. He is adamant that he is male, while ten weeks pregnant with a child created “the good old fashioned way”- by a gay friend who was not thrown off by the masculine appearance of his “play partner”. Not willing to be labeled “gay” or “lesbian”, but also not wanting to be called “straight”. Not sure if he believes in God, but claims “How do you know that this is not God’s plan for me?” Certain of his love and deep care for his domestic partner, whom he lovingly calls his wife, while unashamedly claiming that they are free in the marriage to engage in sexual play, and even casual relationships with whomever strike their fancy. Watching his wife cringe at this statement though, I don’t believe for a second that she doesn’t understand a hint of the jealousy and discontent that comes with a cheating husband.
Somehow, these things add up to even more questions and less answers. At least, I know I have questions…
I don’t know what to say to someone who asks me why they were not allowed to be in the body they wanted. Why do they have to change what they were created as, in order to be who they are? Were they a mistake?
Is there a reason that we have the bodies we are born with, or is it just chance? Why do we place so much stock in our physical appearance? Is who we are on the outside more important than what we know but cannot show to be true?
I believe in the power of creation, that it goes beyond the things we can see and inundates all that we are. Changing who God created us to be feels like a slap in His face. “No, I don’t want to be this, I want to be that.” Doesn’t it say “You made me wrong, you messed me up, and I am going to fix it now”? This attitude claims that gender is decision. It’s not something that defines me, but that I can change or even disregard if I chose to.
I have to believe in a God who does not make mistakes. Otherwise, He is nothing more than a glorified human and not worthy to be worshiped. I choose to view the world through this lens; “everything is either a call for love or an expression of love.” I don’t have the answers. I don’t know how God is going to make this right in the end, but I do know this. First, God created us to love and be loved. Everyone needs to be loved, and everything they do is either an attempt to ask for that love, or a way to try and show that love. It may not always transfer well, be understood or communicated clearly, but it is a desire to be loved or to love. And also, that God loves. Perfectly. Completely. Unconditionally. To me it doesn’t make sense, but I know with all my heart that He does not make mistakes. Somehow in the end, He will make all things right and new and beautiful. God does not make mistakes. He makes broken things beautiful. He makes old things new. He makes wretches His treasure. He makes people who were made to be loved. He makes all things right in the end.
